Link to Watch Arlene’s Interview on Hour of Power

Here’s the link to see my guest interview on the Hour of Power that aired on May 31st.  Just click on “watch” to see my interview.  Please feel free to pass it along to any women who have experienced miscarriages and I hope it will be an encouragement to them!

How to Explain a Miscarriage to Your Young Child

I am 13 weeks along and baby is doing just fine, so I’m happy that this post isn’t about my current pregnancy.  But my 4 year old son said something to me that I just had to share with you.

He said, “Mom, I hope our baby pops.”

Last fall, I miscarried at about 8 weeks.  I wasn’t sure how to explain this to my 4 year old.  We were sitting at the breakfast table and I breathed a prayer to God.  “Give me wisdom and show me how to tell my son.”  At that moment, I looked at the microwave popcorn we had been snacking on.  That was it!

I told my son, “Look at this popcorn.  See how most of the kernels become popcorn, but some of it just stays as kernels?  I don’t really know why some kernels pop and some don’t.  There’s not really a good reason.  Well, you know how mommy has a baby inside?  Well, my baby didn’t pop.  We didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just the way it turned out.”

My son thought about it for a moment.  I showed him the kernels again, comparing the popped corn to the unpopped corn.  The explanation was good enough for him.  From time to time afterwards, he would ask me, “Why didn’t our baby pop?”  To which I replied something like, “I don’t know.  Some things pop and others don’t.” 

So if you ever need a way to explain miscarriage to a young child, think of this popcorn story.  I hope it helps you share your sad news with your little one.  And remember, there are some things we don’t understand (like why DON’T all those kernels pop in the bag?) but God will give us the grace we need when we need it.

Miscarriage to Miracle

Every Christmas, I must remember Angel Rose…and smile.

In 2005, I was pregnant with a remarkable little girl at Christmastime.  We found out at Thanksgiving that she had defects that would cause her heart to stop beating in a matter of days or weeks.  But it was Christmas and she was still fighting.  Her little heart stopped beating after Christmas. 

What a strange New Years that was; delivering a baby at 26 weeks that had passed away.  Our hearts will filled with sadness but also with hope that in the New Year, God would do a miracle of healing and restoration in our lives. 

And He did!  On April 7, the day that would have been Angel’s birthday, we found out we were pregnant with a little girl.  Noelle Joy was born the very next Christmas. 

Christmas 2005, we were carrying a child that would die.  Christmas 2006, we were carrying a healthy child in our arms. 

So every Christmas, I remember that God is always with us – both when times are terribly tough and when times are great.  Here’s a video about my miscarriage that was produced by Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah. 

And here’s a picture of my miracle, Noelle Joy age 2, who’s showing me what she wants for Christmas!

Rain

Yesterday when I woke up, I felt tired, headache-y, and very Eeyore like.  I dragged around the house in the morning.  My husband offered to watch the kids if I wanted to go to the gym.  I didn’t want to go but way down deep inside, knew it would be good for you.  So I went, but don’t think I’m superwoman or anything.  Since I just miscarried last week, I’m taking it easy.  I did 15 minutes on an elliptical machine and 15 minutes of light weights. 

While at the gym, I listened to a podcast by Joel Osteen, who is great to listen to if you ever feel down.  He was talking about building a rain storm of God’s blessing over your life.  How do you get God’s blessings to rain down on you?  He said that happens when you choose to praise God.  Whenever you say “thank you God,” it’s like putting water in the clouds above and after awhile the clouds can’t help but burst with blessings upon your life.  

It sure made a lot of sense to me.  Instead of thinking, “Why did I have a miscarriage?” I’m trying to think, “God thank you for the lessons you can teach me through this unborn child.”  And “Thank you for the children you’ve given” and “thank you for your love through all seasons.”  With praise, I’m finding my heart getting a little lighter each day although as I said before, I feel a lot like Eeyore these days from Winnie the Pooh. 

But guess what happened yesterday night in sunny San Diego?  It rained.  And rained.  And I smiled in my bed because I thought of that rain cloud of praise falling down on me.  God’s blessings are here and are coming in the future!

Miscarriage and Grace

When I found out I was pregnant in August, I was so thrilled to share the good news with you.  Of course, a small voice told me to wait to blog about it until I was further along.  But I’ve always thought that miscarriage was something I’d want my friends to know about if it happened.

So it’s with a heavy but peaceful heart that I share my miscarriage with you.  Remember my post a few weeks ago about my doctor saying “Oh my gosh” when she saw my ultrasound?  Turns out what she saw then (an empty sac) didn’t develop into anything else over time.  When I went back last week, the same dreary ultrasound picture appeared.  No heartbeat or tadpole-looking baby.  The sac again was empty.  My pregnancy was unsuccessful.

I was so sad to hear the news.  But I believe God authors life and that He knows exactly what is best  for my family.

My 4-year-old son has been so excited about the baby.  How could I tell him?  God gave me a great idea when I looked at the popcorn we had just popped in the microwave.  I showed him a kernel that hadn’t popped.  I said, “See, we put all of this into the microwave and some of the kernels just don’t pop.  We don’t really know why.  Well, mommy’s baby didn’t pop.” 

To my relief, that explanation has worked very well and isn’t it true?  Sometimes our babies don’t “pop” to become the babies we expected.  But I thank God He has a plan.  Without my faith in Jesus Christ, it would be very difficult to face this miscarriage and the miscarriage I had 2 years ago (at 26 weeks). 

I had a D & C at the hospital on Thursday and all went smoothly.  At church on Sunday, we sang a song called “He Knows My Name.”  I was so touched because that song spoke to me…God sees me and what I’m going through.  I’ll close with some of the lyrics by Tommy Walker:

I have a Maker, He formed My heart

Before even time began, my life was in his hands

He knows my name, He knows my every thought

He sees each tear that falls, and He hears me when I call.

Angel’s Pasta

Some of you know I lost a baby girl at 26 weeks.  You can read that post Remembering Miscarriage here.  We named her Angel Rose, so when I saw this recipe for Angel’s Pasta, it caught my eye.  Who knows whether or not my Angel would have liked pasta (probably considering her siblings love it!).  Enjoy this Monday’s Meal and remember to be grateful for the wonderful child or children God has given!   

Angel’s Pasta, courtesy of www.allrecipes.com

• 8 ounces angel hair pasta
• 1 tablespoon crushed garlic
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 zucchini, sliced
• salt and pepper to taste
• 3 tomatoes, chopped
• 12 leaves fresh basil
• 4 ounces mozzarella cheese, shredded

Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain.

Meanwhile, heat a medium skillet over medium heat. Pour in oil and saute garlic until golden. Stir in zucchini, salt and pepper. Saute 2 minutes, then mix in tomato and cook a few minutes more. Chop basil and add to vegetables right before mixing with pasta.

Combine pasta and vegetables. Serve topped with mozzarella

Remembering Miscarriage

It was just 2 Christmases ago that I lost a precious baby girl at 26 weeks.  Read my story on http://www.losingweightafterbaby.com or watch it on You Tube at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVJLL2lCV7M

 

I hope it will encourage you or a friend who have experienced this terrible loss.  It can be especially hard to lose the weight after a miscarriage, but hang in there, it can be done.  I like what Oswald Chambers said, “If God has made your cup sweet, drink it with grace.  If He has made it bitter, drink it in communion with Him.”  You are never alone. 

 

I also talk about  podcast this week, “Losing Weight After Baby” which you can find on my website or iTunes.